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Warframe Missions Are Basically Gaslighting Me (Day 1 as a Beginner in 2025)
Twelve years late to Warframe and still lost, here’s my chaotic beginner diary of saving Darvo, missing extractions, and hating melee combat in 2025.
JOYSTICK CONFESSIONSSTREAM RECAPSWARFRAMEFIRST PLAYTHROUGH
The Dark Empress
8/26/20252 min read
I booted up Warframe in 2025 like some brave archaeologist opening a cursed tomb. Twelve years late. Twelve years of lore, memes, and space ninja inside jokes that I wasn’t around for. And instantly, I knew: this game was about to gaslight the hell out of me.
Saving Darvo… or Trying To
The mission says: “Save Darvo.” Cool. Straightforward. Except, there’s this one enemy orbiting us like a confused mosquito. He doesn’t attack me. He doesn’t attack Darvo. He just vibes.
I kept thinking: “Is this man an ally? A distraction? A cosmic Uber driver?”
Turns out he was, in fact, an enemy. But Warframe did such a good job disguising that I nearly adopted him as a pet.
Extraction Points Are Lies
Let’s talk about extraction. Supposedly simple: reach the glowing green marker. Reality: Warframe maps are a fever dream of doors, vents, and glowing lights that all scream “THIS WAY.” And yet every time, I accidentally stumble into extraction like I tripped and fell into another dimension.
Veterans probably autopilot their way there, but for me? Extraction isn’t the end of a mission. It’s the final boss fight.
Melee Combat: Button-Mashing Yoga
Ah, melee. The fantasy: elegant space ninja slicing through enemies. The reality: me spamming the same button like it owes me money.
Half the problem is my controller drifting, the other half is the game’s “slide attack” that never lands where I want it to. Instead of a graceful assassin, I look like I’m trying to ice skate in zero gravity. It’s not bad, it’s just… not satisfying. At least not yet.
First-Day Reflection
If Warframe was a person, it would be that mysterious hot stranger who gives you zero context but expects you to follow them into the void. No explanation. No reassurance. Just chaos.
And yet… I’m hooked. Because buried under the confusion is style, lore, and the kind of jank that feels like a rite of passage.
Dear Veterans, Help Me Out
If you’re a Warframe veteran: what was your most confusing beginner moment?
If you’re new like me: don’t worry, the game will gaslight you too, but that’s half the fun.
This is just Day 1 of my journey. Next time, maybe I’ll actually understand mods. Or maybe I’ll just get lost at extraction again. Stay tuned.
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